Bitter Sweet Meat

Yesterday was sort of a bitter sweet day. Well I don't know about sweet until my freezer is full.
 

My sons pigs went to slaughter. It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. We had planned on having them slaughtered but it just happened that the butcher could take them at that time so we took advantage of that.
 

This is that part of farming that I struggle with.

 On one hand I can't kill anything. Literally. I can't even get myself to kill a bug. I will either have Micah come get the bug or I will skirt around it until it is gone (I am also terrified of bugs). Micah kind or rolls his eyes and says "Oh mom!" This is going to get real personal and maybe a little bit funny, but when I was a kid I was afraid of hurting my stuffed animals or hurting their feelings. I remember pulling one into bed with me and ending up with all my stuffed animals in the bed because I was afraid they would be sad. Or I would make sure they were facing right where I put them so they could see (that is my OCD showing through. ha-ha) I'm sure there is some deep psychological thing there. And I can see how its effected my whole life, I am that way with people too. Of course I am not perfect, everyone does the wrong thing at some points in their life, but in general I don't like hurting people's feelings either. I have a total people pleaser type personality.

I can see the emotions in the animals (not talking about stuffed animals) and I believe they have feelings. And I truly do love all of my critters, maybe a little more extreme than others. They bring me joy and a smile to my face every day.
 

This is my first time owning or being around pigs. They are funny, curious creatures. Anything you did in their pen, they were right in the middle of and they mouthed everything. Jolly, fat, and lazy. They were near my horses so when I went out to feed in the morning they would still be asleep.

 

On the other hand, I get that we are a meat eating society. I think it would be so wrong of me to be against raising one's own animals for slaughter and then go turn around and eat a McDonalds cheese burger. If you are going to eat meat I think it's so important to understand where it comes from and that you are eating what was once a living, breathing, feeling animal. The meat, milk, cheese, eggs, etc you buy at the store doesn't just appear there. There was a whole process to get it to that point.


There are generations and generations of ranchers and farmers that have put their heart, soul and body into raising their animals. I cringe when animals rights activists say ranchers don't care for their animals. They just have no clue how much passion, sacrifice,  and love is put into what they do. Of course there are exceptions, there is animal cruelty, wrong ways of doing things, and greed. But there are exceptions to everything and the only solution to those problems are education, education, education.

 If we all educated ourselves we wouldn't be eating products produced out of cruelty, we wouldn't be eating products filled with chemicals. If we went that extra mile to learn about our food and be an aware person things would be different, and greedy corporations would dwindle. Drilling that into people's heads sometimes feels like repeatedly banging your head against the wall. We are very contradictory. The majority of people say one thing or say they support one thing but then they turn around and do something else.  Maybe they somehow feel better about saying what they should believe in or what they think people want to hear, but its doesn't actually apply to them.  I think it's that rebellious, we are invincible nature we all have a tendency to have.  I am not pointing a finger. I know I have been there a time or two on different subject and I cannot say I will never be there again. But I am trying to become aware and improve myself, because I believe that is what life is. Constant learning and improving of oneself.

So back to the subject. The pigs are gone, we have chickens soon going to slaughter. And we have bran new baby steer calves that will one day face the same. With each one that goes, I feel a pain, an am I doing the right thing feeling. But I try my best to stand strong to my beliefs. I have eaten meat my whole life, I am not innocent, and I will not stop eating meat.  Its a part of the flow of life, it is how it is. And the best I can do is raise my animals with as much love and care as I can, carry thankfulness to them in my heart, and know that my family is eating chemical free, cruelty free, healthy all the way down to their soul meat.