Ok so again its been awhile. My life is completely crazy right now. Its a blog post novel in itself.
Im super excited that this weekend spaymontana.org is heading to Ronan for a clinic because I will finally get to stop in Arlee to visit the Garden of 1000 Buddhas. I wanted to go on my birthday and it fell through due to our financial situation. This time I am going that way and I am bound and determined to make it there.
Which all brings me to the question people who know me (including my Catholic mom) are asking. Is Jean Buddhist? I have a lot of very religious friends out there and I find it funny that this subject gets skirted around.
I do not consider myself truly Buddhist mainly because there is a lot I dont know about Buddhism and I know pretty much nothing about practicing in a traditional sense. To me (and I am not alone) Buddha is not a God. I do not worship him or try to please him in hopes I may gain something. To me he is a teacher perhaps a philosophy teacher. An understander of the human condition.
I firmly believe no matter what religion or beliefs you have you cant fully appreciate and grasp them unless you have an understanding of yourself, your body, and all that natural stuff going on inside of you. I think that it is benefit to everyone to be fully aware of themselves and to be able to control emotions that get out of hand. I think we all should learn to appreciate what is good around us. In the darkest time if we look we can find something good, something worth the fight. Even if in that darkest time you find your God isnt that beautiful and precious and part of who we are? We believe in something and there is hope and a reason.
I also believe in practicing kindness and compassion. Acknowledging that we are all humans and we are all in search of acceptance and belonging has been a powerful lesson for me. I find accepting people for who they are and being kind to them very rewarding and a more natural state. Even if I have to become aware of my own anger or jealousy first and let it go.
Do I believe in God? Yes I do. But to me he is also a person a teacher who is fully aware. A presence that is there for everyone who needs him. A light of hope and arms to hold my soul. A father who loves and accepts us as is because that is what we all seek. I do not believe he is a higher power that is over me and who will not accept me (or others)for things done wrong or if I dont worship in a certain way. I dont believe in hell as a literal place. Hell is not some where you will be sent if you mess up. Hell is in your mind. A place created by our own actions and lack of self and outer awareness.
I once had a preacher tell me that no matter how good of a person I was no matter what good I did if I did not believe in God as people of his church did I would pretty much go to hell. And for the longest time that made me very angry. I refused and still refuse to believe in a figure who would be that cruel, who would put us in this human condition and not be accepting and loving of our mistakes and mishaps.
So there it is. The kitten caboodle. LOL I hope that this helps people understand when I post a Buddhist quote or talk about visiting the garden. Maybe instead of shutting it off you will read the quote and be able to use it in your life to benefit you and help you in your journey to find peace in your heart.
And I know people will have questions comments or disputes. And I am willing to accept them all and learn. I am not perfect. I dont know all the answers. I am constantly trying to understand life and improve myself. I had a horse trainer tell me once that when training a horse you needed to gather as much information as possible look at what other trainers were doing and use only what worked for you. And that has impacted how I think in every aspect of my life.
This is only my conclusion so far.
