Goat Milker Anonymous

Goat Milker Anonymous

So I milked a goat this morning. I feel like I really have fallen off the deep edge of crazy homestead farm girl. I no longer walk with the rest of the normal buy it at the store people. I have crossed the line. You have people that have a couple chickens or a couple cows, but then you have goat people, and goat people are a breed of their own. The only defense I have is that it's not my goat, I am goat sitting. Really that's not a very good defense.

As I get deeper into the farm girl life I find it so fascinating how hard people work. Esp. the homestead women of the past. Just to get anything on the table or clothes for your family was a process.  There is no way they could of ever have been bored or had much time to do anything else. We have become so lazy and expect things just ready  for us to wear or eat, we would totally be in trouble if it all ended and we had to fend for ourselves. Mass chaos.

So I drug my butt out this morning to try to milk the goat. No matter how hard I try or if I work a job for months that I have to get up early for , I am still not a morning person. Left to be natural I would stay up all night and sleep till noon like my grandfather did. I require coffee. But this morning I had to skip the coffee because I was worried (and I still am) that somehow I would mess up the goat by not milking her in time.

Catching the damn thing was another story. It wasn't a pretty the goat gets up on the stool and just about milks herself story. Oh no. Nothing in my life ever goes so smooth and I no longer expect it.  I chased her all over the pen finally baiting her with some grain and grabbing her collar. Then she wasn't going to just get on her stool, I had to pick her up.

 

 

Then with my little bucket I attempted milking. I have never milked anything but a mare trying to help a new born foal nurse before so this was a whole new challenge. Nothing went right at first, nothing came out. I was a little panicked that I wasn't going to be able to do this and I was going to have one angry goat owner after me.

*****Graphic photos. lm not sure if I am suppose to warn small children*******

Apparently you have to finesse the nipple just right to get anything (sorry for my terminology I like to crack myself up).  With the first couple squirts I thought to myself, "Holy crap this is going to take forever to get 1/2 a gallon I really should of drank some coffee first." You see the end product of milk but never did I ever think of how many squirts from a nipple it took to get that milk.

 

20 minutes later and a couple of kicks from the goat, my hands felt like I had just repeatedly shook strong man hands, and my knee was covered in goat milk, I had gotten all that I could get. I proudly brought my goat milk in to strain and put in the fridge. Next adventure is goat cheese!

 

By the way I haven't tasted the goat milk. I dont like milk, I dont like goat milk, and I am still a little freaked out about the whole it actaully came from the goat thing so I am going to start with the cheese.